Carrying "Natural" Too Far

I don't know if you've seen the commercials or not, but Wendy's is testing a new recipe for their french fries.  I can understand this, because anyone with half a brain will realize that Wendy's fries suck and McDonald's has the best fries of any fast food joint.  Five Guys and places like that don't count in this equation because they're not "fast".  That, and if I did count them, they'd blow my assumption because Five Guys french fries are freakin' fantastic.  Especially when you drizzle some malt vinegar on them.  But, that's beside the point.  The point is that all other fast food places need to step up their game on the french fry front.  Wendy's has tried to do this.  I don't know if they succeeded or not, because I haven't tried them yet.  And, frankly, that's not what I want to talk about right now.  No, tonight's subject is the commercial.

Let's start with what they're calling them.  The name, "Wendy's Natural-Cut French Fries with Sea Salt".  Okay, seems fine until you take a closer look at it.  The problem comes in the phrase "Natural-Cut".  In the commercial, they actually say, "We take a potato and naturally cut it".  I'm sorry, but I didn't know there was a way to unnaturally cut something.  I mean, you take something with a sharp edge and pass it through whatever it is you need to cut into smaller pieces.  Am I missing something?  Actually, I know what's going on with this.  It's a marketing ploy to to conjure up the image of a bunch of little old ladies standing around a table with kitchen knives slicing up potatoes.  Of course, we all know that's bullshhh..., well, we know what it is.  In reality, these fries are processed in a plant just like any other, the only difference being the skin is left on.  I like french fries with the skin still on, but don't try to b.s. me into thinking they're something they're not.  It won't work and you just sound incredibly stupid. 

Next comes the sea salt part.  There are folks who believe there's a difference between sea salt and table salt.  Gourmets contend that, because of the different mineral content, sea salt tastes better.  Others can't tell the difference.  Some folks believe that sea salt is better for you because it isn't as processed as table salt.  Here's the deal, both table salt and sea salt are mostly sodium and chloride.  Yes, sea salt has some trace minerals that table salt doesn't.  And, the level of iodine naturally occurring in sea salt is negligible, so now most sea salt has iodine added to it.  Which really disposes of the "better for you" argument.  But, the whole sea salt on Wendy's fries is as stupid as the "natural cut" thing.  Because both the reasons for using sea salt, even if you accept that crap, are ridiculous.  I mean, sea salt is a gourmet thing.  Really, on a french fry?  You want to go there?  Come on, that's just silly.  Next up is the "better for you" argument.  IT'S A FREAKIN' FRENCH FRY!  You can't make an argument about putting more "nutritious" salt on something that's cooked in a big vat of grease.  And, IT'S FREAKIN' SALT!!!  I don't think you're going to make a healthy choice either way on that one. 

Natural cut french fries.  With sea salt.  I love it when companies do stuff like that.  This entry practically wrote itself.  I wish they were all this easy.  Hey, maybe these fries will really take off and some other restaurants will come up with even more stupid to compete.  One can only hope.

P.S.  I know I used "freakin" a lot in this post, but I was trying my best not to drop any F bombs.  And, it was hard.  Really hard.