I Hate Spam

Email that is.  I love Spam, the canned meat.  I realize that sounds gross, but it really is tasty.  And, versatile; there are tons of recipes for it.  But, that's another post.  This one's about email and computer stuff.  I'm so freakin' tired of getting crap in my inbox that I do not want, need, care about, am interested in, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Have you ever looked at the spam folder in your email?  It's filled with junk like want ads, web page ads, product ads, etc.  And, every last bit of it is absolute garbage.  And, most of it carries lovely little hitchhikers like tracking cookies and other various bits of spyware.  That pisses me off because it's an invasion of my privacy.  No where but the internet can advertisers do this.  It's like they're putting a spy in your house to see what you're buying.  Bad as this is, though, there's something worse.  The...shall we say, male enhancement ads.  I'm insulted that these jerks who don't even know me presume that I need help in that arena.  As to whether I do or not, that's none of your business!

Another thing that drives me crazy are sites like Facebook and Twitter.  First of all, the arrogance involved in these sites is staggering.  People just assume that you're interested in every little detail of their life and they plaster it all over the internet.  Twitter is the worst.  It's a conglomeration of what people are doing or thinking from moment to moment.  The problem is that what most people think or do from moment to moment is crap.  Think about it for a minute.  Look back over the past couple of hours; see anything worth telling people about?  Maybe once in a while, but every day, all day?  I think not.  Facebook does this too, just not as obnoxiously.  They more than make up for it with all their notifications and invitations.  Let me state for the record that I do not care about what you're doing in Farmville/MafiaWars/CafeWorld etc.  The fact that you got an egg for your aquarium or a cow for farm means almost nothing to me.  I could live with that, but what really chaps me is all the invitations.  I don't play these silly games (I waste more than enough time as it is) and I don't want whatever it is that you're sending me and I am not going to send you anything back.  Don't... waste... your... time.  You can see by the little tirade above that I have a Facebook account.  I also have one on Twitter.  Not that I "tweet" (what a stupid term) a lot, I use it to advertise my blogs.  Yeah, I realize that's arrogant, too.  But, it's different.  Mostly because it's my arrogance. 

I know this is basically an extended rant.  But, there's a method to my madness.  I'm angling for curmudgeon status.  In case you're wondering, a curmudgeon is, the dictionary says it's "An ill-tempered (and frequently old) person full of stubborn ideas or opinions."  By that standard, some would say I'm already there.  But, that definition doesn't really cut it.  I like this quote by Jon Winkour:
"A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . . They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . . Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit. 

Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness. Their awareness is a curse.


Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology. They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee. Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor."

See, it's not so bad, is it?